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The original recipe is a closely guarded secret, but I have made acceptable versions with drained tinned anchovies and butter rounded out with pinches of lemon zest, paprika, black pepper, and some parsley. You have to put it in the food processor or mash it for ages to get it smooth, and then let it firm up again in the fridge.
This recipe is Mike's invention. It's surprisingly tasty.
Two slices of toast
A quantity of cheese
Spread some Marmite on the toast. Mash the banana and spread on top of the Marmite. Grate enough cheese to generously cover the banana. Pop under grill till sizzling. Eat immediately.
I've just made some tomato sauce/relish which we thought was rather fine with sausages and also very nice as a base for a tart or pizza -
Shallots sauteed in a little olive oil, then the chopped tomatoes (skinned, as I don't like the little rags, but some people don't seem to mind), drop of balsamic, sprinkle of brown sugar, small smattering of cloves, cinnamon, allspice, and large smattering of crushed cardamom and coriander seeds. Seethe gently until spices are no longer immediately recognisable (except for the cardamom), blend to desired consistency.
 Opulent variety for piggy days...
Chop onion and fry in saucepan in butter or olive oil, salt & fresh black pepper.
When onion is soft add spoonfull or three of flour and turn into roux, pour claret into pan and self in alternating glugs until a) claret and onion gravy is formed or b) you're past caring.
Pour gravy over dinner concentrating on getting a good puddle in yorkshire which soaks it up almost as well as the cook's been soaking the extra claret. Scoff.
You put the cottage cheese through the blender, adding either some garlic and/or fresh coriander, or a bit of fresh leek, or some curry powders. Whizz it until it is completely smooth.
Use as a dip for raw vegetables.
Place a few spoonfulls (spoonsfull?) of your preferred backed beans in a large soup bowl or other similar heat/oven proof dish. Crack an egg over the beans and if you were clever enough to hollow out a yolk size indentation in the centre of the bowl, rest the yolk in this hollow. Cover egg with a few thin slices of your favourite cheese (such as a mature cheddar), place 3 or 4 small tomatoes (cherry type if liked) sliced into halves on top of the cheese. Place a small dollop of Branston Pickle in the middle of the dish, grate a little nutmeg and grind a little pepper over the top and microwave cook on medium until the egg white is seen to set. Allow to cool for a few minutes until the cheese starts to set - enjoy.
Preparation time: seven or eight minutes including cooking.
I tin tuna fish (the smallish flat ones, not the usual tin size and not
the tiddly little ones)
Ground black pepper
Herbs as desired.
Drain tin and place tuna in a frying pan (no oil). Keep at a medium heat and stir to prevent sticking. Poor in a good blob of ketchup and stir through. I should think tomato puree could also be used. Shake some vinegar over until it makes your nose tingle slightly, give it a grind of pepper and cook until warm all the way through. Herbs can be added for variety. Can be eaten with toast, ryvitas but is best with matzeos (the big flat jewish crackers) or with Norwegian flatbread. A couple of gherkins round the whole thing off beautifully.
Melt some chocolate in a double saucepan. Peel one banana per person, impale on a stick and dip into the chocolate, coating the banana. According to taste dip into sprinkles, crushed nuts, marmite or whatever. Leave in a cool place to harden, then eat.
Bread, mayo, fish fingers - that's the way we do it. Do you add anything else?
Hold the mayo. For the *real* class sarnie, add potato waffles. Ketchup optional.
or hold the mayo and add grated cheese - the fish fingers are hot enough to melt it slightly
Hold the cheese - add tartare sauce.
Thinly sliced brie that melts through the holes in the potato waffles.
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